True love

 No posts since my son arrived, I apologise.  I've been run off my feet physically and emotionally - not in a bad way. Actually i've been in a bit of a dream state and have felt slightly out of it for the last few months(thank you baby Milo for your love of food and constant, through the night, NEED to feed). Alright, i'm being a bit unfair, he's getting a whole lot better.  Hence, the reason i'm able to structure a sentence and attempt to piece together a blog post.

I feel like I haven't really stopped since Milo was born (cooking, cleaning, feeding, changing..the list goes on). The last few months have been a huge challenge.  I sometimes  feel like i'm on that show 'Gladiator', just PUSHING through, trying to make it through the next hurdle.  There's just so much going on and after days of getting on with it, having had barely any sleep, you do start to feel like you could just collapse..on a bed..a big cloud like one..and forget that anything else exists. Hmm...That's not going to happen, not with a toddler who would quite happily rip the interior of your house to shreds while you slept and a 2-month-old who is completely and totally dependant on you.  No, no such luck. Not this time around.. 

It's hectic, it really is but to be totally honest, i've found it pretty difficult to actually bring myself to complain.  Yeah, I feel exhausted a lot of the time and my patience definitely gets tested but these kids!! They're just so incredibly LOVEABLE & SQUEEZABLE i'm having trouble unravelling myself from around their little fingers. They just do it for me, their cuteness just makes me melt every day of the week. I'm 110% in love.

Somehow I think i've managed to land myself a pretty sweet deal. I've basically sacrificed everything for my boys and in return I get the joy of so many incredible, heart melting moments. Sure it's been tough but for everything i've given, it's come back, tenfold and I couldn't be more grateful.   

Speaking of 'gratitude', here's one other thing i'm grateful for, the people holding me up.  My support network, my friends and close family, these are the people i've got to thank for my sanity! How could I have honestly done it without you? Well that's a rhetorical question, obviously, since we all know I absolutely couldn't have. I'm one lucky duck, getting a whole lot more than I deserve. 

 I really don't know what I did to deserve it but I seem to have pulled together the most special collection of friends, an amazing family and these two beautiful boys who have taught me what it truly means to be in love.  These little beings have managed to change me and help me see the world through shiny, new shades - Life's looking bright! And i'm going to start giving A LOT more back to the universe in return for being dealt such a damn good hand! 

I think what's helped me open my heart the most, is no longer doubting the existence of love, 'true love'.  I believe now and that's reassuring. Love is real.  I think it gives one peace of mind to know or even just believe that love exists.  It's nice to know that something with some sort of significance is out there, it's real and it's at your fingertips.

I can't believe we created what we have, Luke & I. Brothers. Oh, the joy! Two little boys who'll forever share that bond, that blood that is theirs and theirs alone.  I love that I could give them that, a connection that will always be beyond my comprehension.  At the moment it's so pure and I pray, I pray, I pray that it continues that way.

These are my son's and the most beautiful souls I know..